By Dr. Ramesh Maheshwari, Sexology
Lovemaking is often unfairly centered on the reproductive organs and the external body parts, which make the physical act, happen. However, lovemaking is a much deeper process than just the organs or the lust for each other. The most important organ in this context is always the human brain. It is the largest, the most important sexual organ of the body as it makes many things tick and work. Even if you have all the necessary parts working, it is the brain that ensures everything works in the correct order.
The Amygdala v/s the Hypothalamus
As the common saying goes, the male and female brains are wired differently and thus, the way both genders approach sex is quite different. Let’s take a look how.
1. Sexuality in the male brain: The function of the brain in men is primarily controlled by the hypothalamus. This is a small area in the center of the brain above the thyroid glands. The size of the hypothalamus in men is larger than women which results in more testosterone production. Thus, men tend to have more expressive and in general a larger sex drive than females. This results in men being the initiators of sexual contact and also results in the desire for more sexual partners.
2. Sexuality in the female brain: Because women have a smaller hypothalamus, thus the secretion of testosterone is less compared to men. However, women tend to think about sex more from their amygdale, which controls the fear centers of the brain. Thus, they tend to be more cautious about choosing their partners. However, when the trust levels are higher and they are more relaxed, the hypothalamus takes control. This leads to testosterone production thus, resulting in sexual desire.
3. Understanding the emotional need before the physical: It is mightily important that you tune to each other’s emotional needs before tuning into to the physical needs. This will help the woman to feel more relaxed and put down the inhibitions, which will result in better sex. If you are a woman, it will help you understand the physical needs of the man and connect with him better.
4. Dirty talk: It is important that you fantasize about your desires and talk them out before enacting them. This helps in creating a tension and thus, the brain is already prepped before the act. Titillating each other with fantasies also helps to lessen the stress of the physical lovemaking process. The brain is what controls all the other organs and once the barriers or problems are taken care of, your bedroom experience will also help improve drastically.